Monday, June 19th – My waters ruptured – yay we get to meet our little girl soon! Dammit – no contractions or labour. Must go garden shopping to distract me, drink my body weight in raspberry leaf tea, bounce on a ball, walk the dog, eat curry and Google acupuncture on Youtube intensely. The birthing centre has given us 24 hours to go in to active labour or I have to go into hospital because of the risk of infection. I can’t believe this is happening for a second time!
Tuesday, June 20th – It’s 4am and nothing has happened, we are unfortunately off to the hospital. I am absolutely gutted but at least I’m armed with experience this time. The need to be induced is discussed and I’m given the gel. Time to try and relax and watch some box sets on the iPad with Mark. Typical that I will be having this baby on the hottest day of the year!
12.30pm contractions have totally upped their game now, to the point where I barely noticed that the woman across from me has actually been given my lunch order. Time to go to delivery and put some hypnobirthing into action.
4pm – good god in heaven, I thought it was meant to be quicker second time around? Why am I only 4cm? Where is my baby? I HATE my cervix! I’m so hot, this is so consuming, I need to strip off and run away. Hanging over the birthing ball and picturing Pendle Hill for each contraction is not working. Thankfully the lovely midwife, who had been leaving me alone to breathe it out, is now in my face giving me the gas and air and Mark is telling me I can do this.
9pm – finally we are fully dilated. Just as well as Mark has done enough massage to last a lifetime. It’s time to see if I can start to push. I’m feeling such pressure down there but I’m nervous now because it’s time. I can’t stop shaking –silly adrenalin.
9.47pm – She’s here. It was magical and peaceful. Labour is horrific but I love delivering a baby into this world, it’s simply an amazing feeling. I place her on my chest and we wait for the cord to stop pulsating before Mark cuts it.
Great I have two complex second degree tears and so a catheter needs to be administered but it’s OK because Rosa-May is beautiful and healthy and HERE! Oh I just puked everywhere. Did that last time too…. Blurghhhhhh.
Wednesday, June 21st:
1pm – fed her for the second time so going to give breast feeding my biggest bash. The delivery floor was empty but now there’s a woman next door in labour who sounds like she is having crazy sex and one the other side who is making very loud elephant noises. How are Mark and Rosa-May sleeping? Why can’t I sleep? I’m knackered. I’m sure I’ll get coffee and that buttery toast soon.
5am – we are taken to a private room on the mat ward. If you don’t ask, you don’t get! Love how my hubby thinks ahead. I’m so tired now I don’t really know where I am. Words are coming out but I’m not sure they make much sense.
11am – After we cooed over our new addition. The mums’ arrived, (Rosa’s nanas) and are completely smitten. I’ve managed to shower and get my catheter taken out – big win. I think I can manage 30 minutes of chat. Mark has hogged Rosa-May quite a bit, he’s totally in love. I need to ask what I need to do to get out of here and get home.
I can’t believe how much more relaxing this is to when Harris was born. I’m not sure whether it’s because we are second time parents and so they know we aren’t flustered, we have a really healthy baby or it’s just a lot quieter on the ward this time.
4.30pm. I weed and walked so we could all go home. Harris brought Rosa-May a balloon then went to play.
Thursday, June 22nd – It’s all about the small wins today. Firstly, I had a bath and removed the catheter label which had been stuck to my skin like glue. I also inspected my broken body with a mirror (horrifying, yet strangely satisfying). The scary bit – I went for a number two. I had to ask Mark to wait outside the door in case something bad happened, not sure why the brain makes you panic when all you are doing is opening your bowels.
I looked at my bump too. It looks a bit like a deflated basketball. Many people think it disappears when baby comes out but it lingers for longer. But that’s ok, maternity clothes were expensive so may as well get my wear out of them.
Rosa is feeding but her mouth appears to be full of razor blades and she has the sucking action of a leech. I’m not sure we have the latch right. In fact we don’t because there’s blood blisters all around my boobs. Good job the midwife is coming today.
Friday, June 22nd – Tough day today. Tiredness has set in and Harris isn’t in nursery today so my lovely but crazy toddler is bouncing around the house.
My milk is through but my boobs are not in a good way. The damage has been done. Tonight I cried on Mark and got the emergency formula out to see if Rosa would take it so I could pump, then allow my nipples to heal a little. I really did think I was going to have to give up, or express each feed.
Saturday, June 24th – Today is a new day. Rosa took the formula twice last night but I was able to feed her twice this morning and her latch is much better. Success is never a straight line. It’s a big scribble but I’m glad I’m persevering.
Some friends have come round to walk Merlot for us, what a relief. They also brought a massive Hotel Chocolat collection which is releasing some happy hormones. Definitely bonded as a family today and it’s nice that visitors are keeping away to allow us some time together.
Sunday, June 25th – We made it out of the house! Rosa-May in the pram, Harris on his reigns and Merlot on his lead. It was easy peasy but taking a family picture was a tad tricky!
Bath time is CRAZY, Harris would not go to sleep because he knew Rosa was still awake so we had to pretend to put her in her cot, roll the blind down, turn the lights off and blow her kisses. Harris then settled, PHEW!
Monday, June 26th – Harris is with his nana today and Mark really needs to tend to our half-hearted dug up garden so Rosa and I feel like getting out. We did a bit of shopping and she got a lot of attention, probably because she’s just six days old and so teeny tiny. Shopping was such a success I treated myself to a Starbucks and went to visit some grandparents who had been waiting patiently for cuddles.
Tuesday, June 27th – One week old. We’ve kept a mini human alive *hubby and wifey high five each other before Mark gets Harris ready for nursery. God knows what the boy is wearing I probably should have hung up a prepared outfit.
I think I’m healing (other than the broken boobs). My uterus has contracted slightly too, still bleeding but each day I’m noticing small gains.
This afternoon Rosa-May popped her ‘poonami’ cherry. Mark does not appear to cope well with girl nappy changes. I do agree and say boys are a lot easier (less cracks). She’s so wriggly too. This little lady is going to be one heck of a challenge but our love grows for her every day.